Deterioration in Marriage

Today single people poke more fun at marriage than ever. The reasons for this are pretty sad. One reason is that many of them are having affairs with married men or women. Why so many affairs? In many marriages, there is too much distance. The distance leaves room for someone else to occupy the space between. For some couples there is emotional distance, for some, it is physical distance, and for others, it is a combination of the two. What causes the physical distance? Typically lack of intimacy, long and/or excessive work hours, medical problems, poor body image, neglect, friends or family members, infidelity, and weight gain just to name a few. When an individual is emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable in a relationship it is usually because they feel neglected in the relationship, there is emotional or verbal abuse, mental health problems, infidelity, neglect, history of trauma, poor coping skills, social learning or culture from childhood, substance abuse, chronic fatigue or exhaustion, financial problems, and certain physical health conditions just to name a few. It is much more difficult to recover from emotional disconnection than it is to recover from physical disconnection. Once a person becomes emotionally disconnected they have usually built a wall and checked out.

Sometimes single people who don’t take marriage seriously are not in an affair with a married person but have witnessed a married person in an unfaithful situation. This makes them lose respect for marriage and believe most marriages are this way.

For the first time in our lifetime, people are questioning whether marriage is still necessary or relevant. This tells me that the respect for the institution of marriage has significantly deteriorated. What are your thoughts?

Carmel Brown LCPC

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